The dialogue below is from a client interview of my most challenging case to date!
Shari: I am here with Aaron. And we worked together over video conference because you're in a different state. Did you have any feelings, like how the hell is this going to work over a video conference?
Aaron: Yeah, I was skeptical initially but it worked out just fine.
Shari: Yeah. It was just like hanging out in the same room.
Aaron: I guess my anxiety was about not being as computer-literate as a lot of people were and I thought I was going to screw it up but it worked perfectly.
Shari: Yeah. Yeah. Did you have a birthday since I started working with you? Because I have...
Shari: Okay. So you're...
Aaron: I'm still 64.
Shari: You're 64, you're a doctor.
Shari: It almost looks like you're wearing scrubs right now.
Aaron: I am wearing scrubs right now.
Shari: You are?
Aaron: Yeah. I haven't changed since I got out of work.
Shari: I went back through our whole journey together and you began working with me because 2 to 3 years ago you noticed a decline in firmness of the erection and the ability to maintain...
Shari: And you experienced no morning wood for the past year or so.
Shari: And then you heard me on, I think, on a podcast.
Shari: Yeah. And then set up a consultation.
Aaron: I was intrigued.
Shari: Yes. And you had done your homework before we talked, I remember that.
Shari: And you tried Cialis, Levitra, and injections which did a little something but the side effects were too intense. What were some of the side effects that you had?
Aaron: From the oral medication flushing, stuffy nose, various aches and pains from the injections, obviously the injection in a sensitive area...
Aaron: And just concerned about building up scar tissue down there from the injections.
Shari: Yeah. Okay. Injections would not be fun.
Aaron: Yeah. Exactly.
Shari: And then we had some things to navigate around because you're on a very, very high dose of a beta blocker and also a diuretic and that's been for the past what, 20 years?
Aaron: Yeah, the beta blocker for the past 20 years, the diuretic more recent.
Shari: Yeah. And some sleep apnea but you were wearing your CPAPs so that was all good. And just to kind of throw it in the mix, we had some IBS and lactose intolerance.
Aaron: Yeah, absolutely.
Shari: So I could have a list here of the rundown of our time together...
Aaron: Play by play.
Shari: Because as I've told you, this has been my most challenging case to date.
Aaron: Aren't I lucky? I'm #1.
Shari: Yeah. So there's some highs and lows in here...
Shari: ...and I think anybody watching this would need to know what's realistic. Like this is work and there were emotional lows and highs for me, and for you.
Aaron: For both of us, yes.
Shari: Let's see. So I'm kind of just going to go through chronologically here, like on week 4, I have a note that you kind of spontaneously got very aroused from texting with a woman.
Aaron: Yes. A girlfriend who is now my ex-girlfriend. Yeah. I was very surprised and very happy at that time.
Shari: That was our first glimmer of hope.
Aaron: Yes, I think glimmer of hope is a good term.
Shari: And then some really great things to report for week 6 is you and I did some nutritional counseling based on your labs and by week 6 you had lost 18 pounds...
Shari: Had no signs of the IBS...
Shari: ...and were able to tolerate...
Aaron: For the first time, lactose.
Aaron: And that's been for more than 20 years a problem with that.
Shari: Yeah, it's only just – we cleaned some things up and you're...
Aaron: Yes, that was worth it alone.
Shari: Yeah, I remember you saying that like even if nothing else happens...
Aaron: Yeah, that's worth the program alone.
Shari: Yeah, you were like “I'm happy.” And then we were monitoring your morning wood daily and I wasn't seeing it come up the way I would want to...
Aaron: No pun intended, right?
Shari: Yeah. So we had to talk about the impact of the diuretic and the beta blocker and then make a decision really together about how we were going to proceed with this.
Aaron: So we consulted with my personal physician and you were able to consult with a cardiologist.
Shari: Yeah. And so we came up with a game plan based on the suggestions. And your doctor was actually cool enough to call me which was amazing. I don't often...
Aaron: Yes. Because they don't usually do that.
Shari: No, that's like a high level of respect. So that was amazing. And yeah, so because we had to have your doctor in on the game plan and have him supervise everything and obviously because it's a big ordeal getting off these medications.
Shari: And week 6 we did have a withdrawal symptom in which you did become tachycardic.
Aaron: Very tachycardic. Very flushed. Very scary.
Shari: Yeah. It was scary. It was emotional. And you said to me I may be your first failure.
Shari: And you were upset.
Aaron: To say the least.
Shari: You said, “I think I want to quit the program.” You were upset.
Shari: And what did I say?
Aaron: You said hang in there and work the program. And I said – but interestingly you could sense almost clairvoyantly when I was feeling down and discouraged. And I would be surprised when out of the blue I would get a text or an encouraging phone call telling me to work the program and to hang in there. And that was wonderful. That did a lot psychologically for me because somebody actually cared.
Shari: Oh, yeah.
Aaron: That's true.
Shari: I think sometimes I kind of can joke around like you know, there's like a magic to this program and that's my intuition, right?
Aaron: Exactly. Gentlemen, the intuition is real.
Shari: It is definitely real.
Shari: Yeah, I could like feel you, kind of like he is having a hard time and like text you or call you like “What's going on?”
Aaron: Yeah. I'm usually skeptical about that type of thing but gentlemen, it's real.
Shari: It is real. And I obviously have the structures in place and the education but man, the intuition is like...
Aaron: It is amazing.
Shari: It's the guiding light for sure.
Aaron: It is.
Shari: For myself and you.
Aaron: Yeah, absolutely.
Shari: Alright, so let's get to week 7. One of the assignments that I gave you was helping your body remember when you were really rocking it and you were able to get hard enough to penetrate just based on that assignment.
Aaron: Right. Exactly. Exactly.
Shari: So your body remembered.
Aaron: It was always there. It's just that it had forgotten.
Shari: Yeah. And then so week 8 we did make the decision to have you stop your diuretic and we talked about the impact it was having on the erections. So that was stopped. And I don't think you ever had any adverse effects from stopping that, right?
Aaron: No, I did not.
Shari: Yeah, and then we had to put you some other positive behaviors in place that would kind of counteract that.
Shari: And then week 10, you were feeling some tingling in your penis. It was coming back to life.
Aaron: It sounds like Doctor Frankenstein.
Shari: I feel like Doctor Frankenstein. I am a the mad scientist. I am the mad scientist in the penis lab.
Aaron: Yes, you are. An effective mad scientist, yes.
Shari: And then yeah, we did end up – even though like this set program is 3 months, sometimes in a situation where you're getting off long term medicines and making all these changes, sometimes it does take an extra month to...
Aaron: And you have mentioned that the initial counsel as well, so I was not overly concerned.
Shari: Yeah, depending on someone's – what they're walking in with...
Shari: We were like bucking a current that's been happening for a long time.
Shari: So we were definitely doing a lot of adjusting in communication during that process. And then week 4, we were doing some adjusting and there was a setback that did produce tachycardia and anxiety.
Shari: And luckily because we both have a medical background, we were able to communicate it at that level and you know, like “Oh, I did the Valsalva maneuver.” And then I scheduled...
Aaron: With a cardiologist who cleared me of everything and just said it was side effect of coming off the medication. The other reason beta blockers are effective is besides slowing your heart rate is they also reduce your anxiety and to kind of wean myself off of that took work as well.
Shari: Yeah. It's a big deal but it can be done, right?
Aaron: The living proof.
Shari: Yeah. And that was something that was staying in our way so...
Shari: And then after that there was one compromise that you and I decided to make temporarily which we had to get your body to a certain place to even make that compromise.
Shari: So that will probably maybe be hanging out for another month and then you'll...
Aaron: I'll lose that compromise, that's fine.
Shari: Yeah, and then we got all that finally down and we did some emotional clearing work.
Aaron: Yes, which was very emotional.
Shari: Yeah, it was. That's why they call it emotional clearing, right?
Aaron: That's a good term for it. But it was necessary and it helped a lot.
Shari: Yeah, so I'm just going to throw this question at you because it just came to me.
Shari: So I don't really work mentally like a therapist.
Shari: So can you say anything about my approach and how that occurred for you?
Aaron: Yes. If you would ask me what the best thing was your strategies and your program does, it was that I was able to let all my psychological walls come down and really open my heart. ED is not something that is easy for me to talk about and I'm sure for other people as well. But you're truly an amazing coach. You're thorough, you're reliable, you're thick-skinned, you're honest and you will not give up in order to help somebody. And you have a great sense of humor because you laugh at all my lame jokes.
But Shari is not only my coach and therapist but she is now someone I call a close friend. So I got that out of the program as well. I was really skeptical at first. I wanted a quick fix, a magic pill. I was not a believer in holistic approaches to practically anything in the past. But as we would joke, her program has a plethora of strategies. It's a combination of diet and exercise changes, breath work, psychological work and even sleep hygiene. But it works. It works. And I am confident to know what to do to keep healthy morning wood and maintain an erection now. So that's all I – many of the things I got out of the program. So...
Shari: I got the chills. Oh my god.
Aaron: No, it's true. It's true. I had to write this down because I'm not as sharp as I used to be talking off the cuff but that's all from the heart, that's true.
Shari: Oh, thank you.
Aaron: You're very welcome.
Shari: And it was a long – you know, it's 4 months. I mean it's kind of a long journey, too. It's hard to remember.
Aaron: But I looked forward to every week because it was so helpful. It wasn't easy but it was helpful.
Aaron: And you've got to put in the work. It's not a quick fix. But it was a good fix.
Shari: And it was really – it was fun, too, though.
Aaron: It was. We had a lot of laughs.
Shari: Definitely a lot of laughs. That was our strong suit in working together.
Shari: So let's recap...
Shari: ...what has transpired over the last 4 months? You've lost 20 pounds.
Aaron: Correct. 21 as of today.
Shari: Got to get the credit where credit is due.
Shari: One more was lost.
Aaron: Here we go.
Shari: No more IBS.
Shari: No more lactose intolerance.
Aaron: Correct. Can eat ice cream without a problem. But I don't do that too often. Right.
Shari: As a treat.
Shari: After 20 years, no more beta blockers.
Shari: Woah. No longer on diuretics.
Shari: Waking up with healthy morning wood...
Shari: ...to get your day started. And able to get a nice, firm erection.
Aaron: What else can I say?
Shari: Well, you can say something else.
Aaron: Sure, tell me.
Shari: Yeah. Oh, and you're feeling more – I know you're like you want to start dating so this...
Shari: …I'm going to assume that this really helped give you the confidence to like...
Aaron: Yeah. I have something to say about that if I may.
Shari: Oh yes, you may.
Aaron: Gentlemen, ED destroyed my confidence and sense of masculinity. I didn't feel like much of a man and stopped dating. I'm divorced and stopped dating after several incidences with different women of “failure to launch”. It affected not only my personal sex life but my professional life as well. If you've ever felt like this, work with Shari and her program. She will bring you back from despair.
Shari: Wow. Yeah, kind of what you're bringing up for me is that sex coaching isn't about sex.
Shari: Right? Like we really worked on...
Aaron: It's partially about that but much bigger issues.
Shari: Yeah, definitely. Because it all comes up around that. Alright, so your final two questions.
Shari: What would you say to anyone who is having trouble with erections and is thinking about working with me?
Aaron: Just what I said in the last statement. It's the best thing that I can say about you.
Shari: Okay, I won't fish.
Aaron: No. You can fish. You can fish.
Shari: If you choose to. Well... And you know, one thing I asked you on our last session that I didn't know what the answer was going to be because I fought – even when you were feeling down, I fought so hard for this and so hard for you.
Aaron: Yes, you did.
Shari: So the last time we spoke I asked you “Did it make you fight harder that I fought so hard for you?”
Aaron: Absolutely. No question about it. If you hadn't fought that hard, I would have quit the program. But you were always there. You were always there.
Shari: Always there.
Aaron: And like I said, when I needed you, you were there. And that's the best endorsement I can give you. You will fight hard for your clients. I mean it sounds like a lawyer commercial but it's not, it's true.
Shari: I stand up for the rights of your penis to be hard without medications.
Shari: Oh my gosh. Okay. Yeah.
Aaron: We don't call you the penis whisperer...
Aaron: And the boner babe for nothing.
Shari: Yeah, I knew you made up that one.
Aaron: Yes, I did.
Shari: One final question.
Shari: What would you say to any doctors that are thinking about referring me to patients, to clients?
Aaron: To potential referring doctors I would strongly recommend Shari as the first line of ED treatment.
Shari: That's awesome.
Aaron: And it's true. It's true.
Shari: I think...
Aaron: My only regret is trying all those other things before I came to you.
Shari: Oh wow, that's a huge endorsement for sure.
Shari: And I probably went overboard at times about safety, right?
Aaron: Yes, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Consult your doctor at each step.
Shari: Yeah, let's take everything really slow. Monitor everything. Safety first, always.
Aaron: Of course. Of course.
Shari: Alright. Wow. You survived the interview.
Aaron: I did. And like I said, I'm going to miss you Shari.
Shari: This isn’t the end for us my friend.
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