How to Stop the Erectile Dysfunction Spiral of Despair

In this talk I will be reflecting back to you the path that men take when trying to cure ED using the typical erectile dysfunction treatments, and why the down ward spiral of despair occurs.

If you have found a reliable cure for ED and are feeling emotionally balanced then the talk is not for you. 

I’m Shari James, an RN, turned Holistic Sex Coach. I specialize in a “ROOT CAUSE" approach to healing Erectile Dysfunction

I work with men who are struggling with ED and do not want to take pills, have taken them and did not get results or cannot take them because of side effects.

When I sat down to write this talk my intention was to write a love letter to men who are struggling with erectile dysfunction, but what came out of me was anger & frustration. Anger is essentially frustrated love and I can’t get to the love until I get my anger out. I’m not angry at guys with ED. I am angry about the misinformation about erectile dysfunction treatments and why this causes guys to go down the ED spiral of despair. 

I bet you never thought that ED would happen to you.

Or perhaps you did expect it to happen a natural part of the aging process.

You might be young, healthy and perplexed.

You might be over 50.

You are either dating, in a relationship or not putting yourself out there.

It’s all in your mind “they say.”

You think this problem will eventually go away on it’s own, but it’s doesn’t and the problem goes on long enough to get your attention. 

You start self diagnosing and scouring the internet for erectile dysfunction treatments. Like “Foods to eat to cure ED” or  “Supplements to cure ED.”

You do your research and like a mad scientist, you try a little bit of this and little bit of that. Occasionally you have success but it’s unreliable.

You go to your doctor and get ED medication. You endure some side effects. Your sexual encounters are no longer spontaneous. Over time you’ve you’ve developed a psychological crutch on the medication. You wonder why the pills don’t always work. What you may not know is that they will eventually stop working and when find your self at the maximum dosage then what?

You may start to feel desperate and fumble around with supplementing your medication with or erectile dysfunction treatments like acoustic wave. The thing is that any treatment that solely focuses on your penis will only give you temporary results. So you find yourself repeatedly back at square one.

Despair is setting in.

Maybe it’s your significant others fault that you can’t get it up. After all she let herself go. 

Perhaps you step out of your relationship to test the waters. With this other woman you can get an erection.

Bingo! It was your partners fault. Until the day comes, and it will come, when you can no longer get reliably hard with this other woman. 

I guess it wasn’t your partners fault. Now there is bigger problem, you have to hide that you cheated. This creates distance in your marriage. Now you feel lonely on top of having ED.

Or perhaps you’ve turned toward porn. All that variety and stimulation, your brain is having a field day! Then you notice you can only get hard while watching porn or your viewing habits change over time moving toward more and more stimulation. Yep now you are hooked. 

Another downward spiral kicks in.

As you’ve progressed though the ED spiral of despair, you’ve felt so many emotions. guilt, shame, embarrassment, frustration, blame, hopelessness, powerlessness, and in some cases actually thought about suicide. 

If you are in a relationship you are getting pressure to do something about this. There is palpable tension between the two of you. She thinks it’s her fault, and that you are not attracted to her, you assure her that it’s not. Arguments erupt. You find clever ways to avoid sex. Sometimes the idea of not doing anything about this is more appealing than the idea of trying and failing. When you are feeling powerless it’s hard to take any action.  Either way you are in deep pain over this. 

If you are single maybe you’ve stopped dating. You weigh out the emptiness or being alone vs all the emotions you feel if you can’t perform in the bedroom. You stay in suspended animation.

What if I told you that when it comes to Erectile Dysfunction education and treatment that you are being mislead.

You are being educated by pharmaceutical companies who have all the resources imaginable to push their agenda. 

That Viagra was originally an experimental heart medications and the side effect was an erection. They struck gold! 

When Viagra came out the diagnosis of “Impotence” changed to Erectile Dysfunction. That should tell you the power these pharmaceutical companies have.

No one ever explains to you that PDE5 inhibitors will stop working over time because they do not address the root causation.

Here’s the thing. Erectile dysfunction is really a combination of 5 main imbalances that have nothing to do with your penis. These 5 main imbalances manifest as having ‘firmness trouble” Keep following because I will get to the imbalances. 

As for acoustic wave treatments like Gainswave (TM) did you know that they are a marketing company and under the brand Gainswave, they sell various shockwave devices from independent sellers. So when you go to get these treatments, you have no idea which device a Dr is leasing but it’s all marketed under the Gainswave (TM) Marketing Machine. They promoted this treatment as a root cause approach or natural remedy but it’s not.

Even ED groups on social media lie to you. I was in the biggest one on Facebook and I stayed quiet and observed for several years. I noticed a new Admin pop up with zero medical experience and on every comment he promoted an at home device. I left a few educated comments and he blocked me from the group. What does that tell you?

These are just a few examples of how you are being misled, while you vulnerable.

I’ve been quietly helping men heal erectile dysfunction for 15 years.

I’ve seen the harm that misinformation causes you and I’m pissed, and I’m not going to stay quiet any longer.

Misinformation is and has been damaging you. This is the biggest imbalance. 

I want you to get out of hopelessness, I want you to get angry. To get your fire back.

You have had the wool pulled over your eyes for far too long. 

You are not broken.

Your penis is not broken. 

Say it with me.

“My penis is not broken.”

Your firmness challenges are the result of these imbalances…

  •  an over stimulated onerous system
  •  decreased circulation 
  •  mental/emotional blocks
  •  chronic pornography usage 
  •  mismanagement of sexual energy

An honorable mention is …

  •  medication induced 
  • And there’s also watching and thinking about politics all the time, just kidding! Or am I?

The problem is not your penis and any treatment that targets your penis will only give you temporary results and send you deeper into despair.

If you are ready to step off the ED Downward Spiral then

go to my website for more resources on a “guaranteed" root-cause approach. 



































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